Updates from April, 2012 Toggle Comment Threads | Keyboard Shortcuts

  • ivanildotrindade 7:57 pm on April 12, 2012 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: anti-semitism, , easter bombings in nigeria, islamic terrorist groups, John Boehner, , northern nigeria, , sharia law   

    Shining the light on the cowardly acts against Christians in Nigeria 

    Another bloody Easter in Nigeria, but who is talking about it. I saw a couple of columns in “The Wall Street Journal” today. It starts by saying that “terror attacks on Christians holidays have become a common place in Nigeria, but the violence this Easter illustrates how deadly and widespread the threat has become.” It goes on to list the horrible acts committed against Christians by Islamist terror groups.

    The most infamous of these groups is the s0-called Boko Haram, meaning “Western education is sin,” which has killed nearly 1,000 people since July 2009, according to Human Rights Watch. Pardon the petulance, but if the tables were reversed, let’s say 1,000 Muslims had been killed by Christian militias, do you think the world would hear about it more vociferously? You bet it would!

    Or what about this: suppose Jews were the ones being targeted for killing, would Mr. Murdoch open the pages of his newspapers around the world to headline such a terrible thing? You bet he would!

    As it stands, Christians continue to be the sacrificial lamb. They are treated as expandable in this world of political correctness and cowardice.

    I am not here to promote hatred against any group, but I am here to speak for a world where violence is not tacitly accepted no matter how “just” the cause. Politicians speak of “moderate Islam,” but where are the voices of this silent majority. My hunch is that either this “silent majority” does not exist or it is too scared or it actually agrees with the perpetrators of mayhem.

    If you are able to get to a computer, please contact the Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton, and ask her to use her influence to designate Boko Haram as a foreign terrorist organization. Here is the contact information:

    Public Communication Division:

    PA/PL, Rm. 2206
    U.S. Department of State
    2201 C Street NW
    Washington, D.C. 20520
    Main switchboard: 202-647-4000

    Also, contact The Speaker of the House, Mr. John Boehner, and ask him to expedite the work of the U.S.-Nigeria Binational Commission regarding security issues. Here is the information you need:

    H-232 The Capitol
    Washington, DC 20515
    Phone: (202) 225-0600
    Fax: (202) 225-5117

    You may also go here to send him a message.

    If you have Muslim friends, ask them to make their voices heard as well. If you have Jewish friends, make them aware of what is going on. Make your voice heard. Cowards don’t like when their cowardice is exposed. Even the most evil of persons doesn’t like to be seen as such. The world needs to condemn the atrocities that are being committed on a daily basis against Christians in Nigeria. Please help get the word out.

    Ivanildo C. Trindade

  • ivanildotrindade 6:45 pm on April 11, 2012 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: arkansas, Bobby Petrino, coach fired, Criminal Justice, fayetteville, football coach, Jeff Long, razorbacks   

    What's wrong with America 

    People ask me what is wrong with America and I say that in a nutshell it is lack of courage. People of weak spine are unwilling to lay aside temporary notions of pleasure to stand for what is right. Case in point, the firing of coach Bobby Petrino as head coach of the Razorbacks.

    Notice: apparently, the coach was not fired for having an affair with a staff member half his age. He was fired for his lies, deceits and cover ups. Here is what Petrino did:

    Though married, Petrino was involved with the staff member for quite some time and hid that from his athletic director.

    In March, Petrino hired said staff member, over 158 other candidates, and gave her a $20K gift.

    Petrino was involved in a motorcycle accident and he gave an interview in which he stated that there was nobody else involved in the accident.

    The university then issued a statement confirming that Petrino was alone. Why? Because they trusted his word.

    Four days went by and the coach chose not to reveal the truth until the facts came out and he was forced to take the mask off.

    Petrino lost his post, which means forfeiting 21 million on the remainder of his contract.

    He let down his family (wife and four children) and brought shame and negative publicity to the university and its football program.

    You would think that under the circumstances, there would be an overwhelming clamor for the coach to be let go and most people would agree with the difficult decision the university had to make. In the words of the athletic director, Jeff Long, Petrino had engaged in a “pattern of misleading and manipulative behavior to deceive me…” He went on to say that the coach had “multiple opportunities over a four-day period to be forthcoming, and he chose not to.”

    Of course, we should sympathize with a flawed man, because we all have the same propensity to go bad. Perfection is certainly not a requirement to being a football coach. Transparency, truth-telling, and taking responsibility for mistakes probably are. And on those counts, the coach failed. He failed because while failing he tried to act like he didn’t. He failed because he was unwilling to promptly face up to his indiscretions. He failed because he tried to be someone he was not and thought no one would notice.

    That’s usually how great men fall. Yes, cheating on your partner is a great failure, but trying to cover it up and deceiving others in the process is worse than the initial failure. It shows a character deficiency that goes deeper than sleeping around with someone other than your wife.

    So the question is: How can some people fail to see this? Some people are enraged that the coach was fired. Not because they agree with his behavior. Not because they are concerned for the welfare of his family. They don’t even care whether the “punishment” fit the “crime.” So what is it that they care about? One thing and one thing only: the fact that the Razorbacks may go back to being a losing team again!

    That’s it!

    Here is a pearl from 72-year-old Judy Grisso: “I hope he stays. He’s a winner. I don’t want to judge his indiscretions. We’ve seen so much of this lately, everywhere. Who are we to judge?” And more to the point, let’s hear from a 33-year-old student majoring in Criminal Justice, an expert in character judgement: “Obviously, he was stupid, but I’m more concerned about winning. All I care about is beating Alabama and LSU. If we beat them I’m okay with it, short of him stringing someone up.”

    Coming to a court of law near you… the same student, now robed as a judge or a defense attorney. Hope you won’t ever need his services!

    So what’s wrong with America again?

    Ivanildo C. Trindade

  • ivanildotrindade 7:22 pm on April 10, 2012 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: bible without miracles, declaration of independence, Jefferson Bible, John Lennox, natural world, , Thomas Jefferson   

    What’s Missing in Thomas Jefferson’s Bible? 

    Christians in the West just celebrated Easter and this following Sunday the Eastern Orthodox Church will do the same. The four gospels state that Jesus rose again and was seen by different people. Paul says that at one occasion Jesus was seen, after the resurrection, by 500 people, most of which were still living at the time of Paul’s writing.

    But a major figure of U.S. history and politics begged to differ. Thomas Jefferson never believed the resurrection really took place. At least that is the assumption made from the so-called “Jefferson Bible,” which is now on exhibit at the Smithsonian’s Museum of American History.

    Mr. Jefferson, the main author of the Declaration of Independence, which guarantees religious freedom for everyone, and a future President of the United States, made his own version of the Bible, deprived of miracles, including the resurrection. Jefferson, who was influenced by the Enlightenment, was unwilling to believe anything, unless it could be “proven by fact.” Miracles would upset the natural order of things and Mr. Jefferson was all about reason and logic, he would have none of that.

    Now you could say there is no harm done when someone leaves off the less palatable parts of the Bible and takes in only what can be easily explained. And that would explain why that book now on exhibit is called “Jefferson’s Bible,” and not “The Holy Bible” or “The Word of God.” To remove the supernatural elements out of the Bible would be the like removing liquid from water or eating a salad without leaves.

    The reason I am not bothered by the supernatural in Scriptures is because I believe in a God who is above everything also. Natural laws are only a slice of reality that is observable, but there is more to the universe than meets the eye. I am somewhat comforted by the fact that great minds, such as that of Oxford Mathematician John Lennox, agree with this. The author of “Gunning for God” and “God’s Undertaker” postulates that the reality of a lawful universe presumes the existence of a divine lawgiver. He is one of many scholars who has investigated the resurrection and has concluded that there is strong historical evidence that it actually happened.

    “This idea that miracles violate the laws of nature,” he says, “that is a false notion. The laws of nature are our description of what we observe regularly to happen …. But God is not a prisoner of those laws. He can feed a new event in, if he wants to. It doesn’t break the laws.”

    You may beg to differ and you may be perfectly satisfied with Mr. Jefferson’s view of Scripture. As for me, if that’s the only Bible I have, I would rather read the Declaration of Independence.

    Ivanildo C. Trindade

  • ivanildotrindade 7:27 am on April 8, 2012 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , easter sunday, ressurrection, , victory over death   

    He lives 

    “1 When the Sabbath was over, Mary Magdalene, and Mary the mother of James, and Salome, bought spices, so that they might come and anoint Him. 2 Very early on the first day of the week, they came to the tomb when the sun had risen. 3 They were saying to one another, “Who will roll away the stone for us from the entrance of the tomb?” 4 Looking up, they saw that the stone had been rolled away, although it was extremely large. 5 Entering the tomb, they saw a young man sitting at the right, wearing a white robe; and they were amazed. 6 And he said to them, “Do not be amazed; you are looking for Jesus the Nazarene, who has been crucified. He has risen; He is not here; behold, here is the place where they laid Him. 7 But go, tell His disciples and Peter, ‘He is going ahead of you to Galilee; there you will see Him, just as He told you.’” 8 They went out and fled from the tomb, for trembling and astonishment had gripped them; and they said nothing to anyone, for they were afraid.
     9 Now after He had risen early on the first day of the week, He first appeared to Mary Magdalene, from whom He had cast out seven demons. 10 She went and reported to those who had been with Him, while they were mourning and weeping. 11 When they heard that He was alive and had been seen by her, they refused to believe it. 
    12 After that, He appeared in a different form to two of them while they were walking along on their way to the country. 13 They went away and reported it to the others, but they did not believe them either.”
    (Words of the Gospel writer, Mark).

  • ivanildotrindade 10:48 pm on April 5, 2012 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: emotional withdrawal, , marriage isolation, marriage withdrawal, , , selfishness in marriage,   

    24 Hours of Unselfishness 

    Selfishness. They told me that is one of the top reasons why marriages fail. Really? Well, I don’t have to go to a conference to learn that. Actually, selfishness is at the root of the failure of any type of relationship.

    If you didn’t know already, you and I are selfish. Really? How do I know? Well, for starters, one of the first words we learn to say as babies is… No, it’s not “daddy” or “mommy.” It’s “no!” normally while pounding the high chair… And why is that? First of all, those are easy sounds to learn. Secondly, it is our way of saying, “I am not happy,” or “Do it my way!”

    When we toddlerize, we have to learn to share our toys. This has to be reinforced again and again. When we enter the pre-human phase (teenagers), at least in the U.S., kids must have separate rooms.

    You would think we would have learned by the time we reach adulthood. But no, in some ways, we get “smarter” in perfecting our selfishness. Now we are selfish and we don’t care! We have a hard time admitting we were wrong. And telling our spouse s/he was right? Never in a million years! We focus on the other person’s mistakes and shortcomings and tend to forget our own. We cover up when we mess up and broadcast when our spouse makes even a little mistake. We may not broadcast it to the world, but we do it inside our houses, sometimes while pounding the kitchen table!

    There is more. Many marriages are ruined by the insistence of one spouse to pursue his or her career in spite of the other person’s objections or concerns. Selfishness leads to emotional or physical withdrawal and isolation. Eventually we only have to put up with ourselves because the other person is no longer home, whether physically or emotionally.

    But there is good news: your marriage doesn’t have to be ruined by selfishness. Here is what we all need to do.

    1. Be aware of your own selfishness. Don’t try to deny it, hide it, divert it or make light of it. Acknowledge it and work to remedy it.

    2. Every week, think about something you will do where you will purposefully put the other person ahead of your own needs. Whether it is forfeiting that NBA game and going to buy groceries because your wife is too tired, or skipping your Zumba exercise class that you cannot miss just to be there when your hubby comes home. Whatever it is, plan ahead and do it. Don’t expect anything in return either. Just do it.

    3. Work hard to treat your spouse the way you always tend to treat yourself. There is nothing wrong with a little love of self. In fact, a sober dose of self-love is a sign of a well-adjusted soul. That’s why Jesus said we should love our neighbor “as we love ourselves,” and Paul said that husbands should love their wives “as their own bodies.” Then he goes on to make the obvious point: “After all, no one (he is talking about a healthy person here) ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body…” Self-love is only bad when it becomes the focus of our existence.

    4. And here is the hardest challenge: pick a 24 hour period where you will resolutely seek to be free from any selfish acts. This could be not taking the only available parking space close to the store and letting the older lady behind you grab it or it could be buying coffee for your whole staff. If you do this, you will truly discover the things you do that could be considered selfish. Take notes of the times you are behind the wheel. Pay close attention to meetings where you can’t wait to make a point and cut other people mid-sentence. Some of the most unselfish acts you will do will be related to listening more, giving focused attention, and acting like the person across from you is the most person in the world.

    Ultimately, though, it is the unselfish acts you will do to your spouse that will count the most. If they go unreciprocrated and you say nothing, then you’ve really passed the selfishness test. Eventually, the other person will catch on.

    Ivanildo C. Trindade

  • ivanildotrindade 12:59 pm on April 4, 2012 Permalink | Reply  

    Tom Schaar, 12 year old, lands a first ever in skateboarding! 

    You will not see this everyday, so check it out! http://www.latimes.com/sports/sportsnow/la-sp-sn-tom-schaar-1080-20120402,0,2425885.story

  • ivanildotrindade 9:18 pm on April 3, 2012 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: avoiding conflicts, couples who hoarder, dirty closets, emotional hoarders, fleeing reality, Hoarder, ,   

    Emotional Hoarders 

    Married couples have learned to hoard, sometimes literally, but more often metaphorically. They hoard emotions, they hoard hurts, they hoard disappointments, rejections, the list goes on and on.

    There are big hoarders and small hoarders. I once entered the home of a widow who lived next to us in California. I say “entered” somewhat euphemistically. It’s more like my groping hands led me into a little space in her kitchen  where a leaky pipe was located. There were walls of newspapers and magazines on either side, making it looking like a corn maze and the smell of cavernous hallways was intense. There were objects piled up all over the livable space and the air was so thick I could swear it was being hoarded as well. Now that’s what I call a big hoarder.

    Small hoarders, on the other hand, only keep things in one room in the house. Maybe it used to be the bedroom of one of their kids who went to college, an old closet, or maybe even an attic. If you visited their house, you would have no clue that there is a messy room somewhere because everything looks so clean and good. The chaos is a dark secret, they keep it only between them, and they only go there to dump more stuff, and when it is full, they may even put a lock there and avoid going there at all costs.

    Couples who are big time hoarders leave everything on the floor. Like the big hoarders in the reality show, there is little hope for them. I can’t even begin to think about helping big time hoarders. But I have something to say to small hoarders.

    You also may have a closet with locks when it comes to your emotional life. You only go there when it is absolutely necessary. You keep shoving things there and keep it secure with a lock. You don’t want to go in because it is too painful.

    So when the wife is tempted thinks about how the husband didn’t take her side when his mother attacked her ten Thanksgivings ago, she quickly shoves that into the closet. When the husband feels lonely and wants a little more loving, he immediately retreats, knowing full well that the subject might just aggravate his wife’s headache.

    The hoarding closet, then, becomes a form of escapism, a flight from reality, a detour from disruption, but what you don’t realize is that same closet is nothing more than a postponement of “judgement day.” Some day, the hurts and resentments will erupt like a volcano and by then it might be too late to stop it.

    That’s why couple who are emotional hoarders need to open the closet. Slowly at first, but surely. A good start is to eliminate from your vocabulary expressions such as “don’t even go there,” “I don’t want to talk about it,” “You know what will happen if we start talking about this,” “There you go again,” etc., etc.

    Here is a simple technique: instead of going to the “closet” go to the “cave.” A “cave” is a safe space you need to put between you and the painful issue you may be discussing. If the argument is heating up or is bringing the worse in you, just say, “I need to go into the cave.” At that moment a “truce” is declared, the weapons come down and there is a pause, which, by the way, men, does not mean “there will be sex.”)

    Men, especially, need to learn to give their spouses some space. However, you cannot go into the “cave” forever. The “cave” is a respite not a destination. It is not another closet. The “cave” gives you time to calm down and think about what you want to say. After a couple of days (you will have to determine how many), if the spouse is still in the “cave,” you need to call her/him out. Actually “draw her out” is probably a better expression.

    When the talk resumes, you will need to learn to re-state. Instead of “How can you say that?” what about, “Can you clarify what you really mean by that?” Or “do I understand that you are saying thus and so?” Listen, re-state, and state your point without attacking the other person. If you do that consistently, you will find yourself without a dirty closet sooner than what you think.

    Ivanildo C. Trindade

  • ivanildotrindade 9:54 pm on April 2, 2012 Permalink | Reply  

    Typos suck! 

    This last post was really messed up spelling wise. I think I corrected most of the typos. My apologies…

  • ivanildotrindade 7:49 pm on April 2, 2012 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: 50/50 marriages, Divorce, divorce among christians, , marriage expectations, ,   

    50/50 Marriages 

    I will write this week about marriages. Yes, I just returned from a weekend getaway called “A Weekend to Remember,” organized by Family Life, and I have a lot to share.

    Something that just dawned on me. Imagine you were being interviewed for a job and were asked how much effort you were willing to put into your new job. Suppose you said, “I am willing to put my 50% as long as whoever is working with me is willing to put their 50%.” What are the chances you would get that job? Pretty slim, aren’t they? In fact, you would probably get laughed at all the way to the exit door, which would be politely shown to you… or not!

    And yet, when it comes  to marriages, we expect this arrangement to work. We say, “As long as you keep your part of the bargain, I will keep mine. If you mess up, we’re history.”

    Rarely will a marriage survive under this kind of arrangement. And why is that?

    First, because couples bring a wide variety of expectations into a relationship and many of them are totally unrealistic. What did you expect from your marriage and did you get it? Did you expect your wife to be always in the mood for sex? Did you expect your husband to always give you his undivided attention? Did you expect your wife to stay trim and toned for the rest of her life? Did you expect your husband to keep opening the door for you like he used to do when you were dating?

    And why not? Aren’t those perfectly reasonable expectations? They may be to you but not necessarily to the other person. So giving only 50/50 will not work because the expectations are varied and unrealistic.

    But 50/50 doesn’t work for another reason: my tendency to focus on the other person’s faults and forget my own. Let’s face it: we all tend to be selfish, prideful, stubborn and resentful. If left unchecked, these bad traits will derail any relationship. Many marriages have been defeated already by nothing more than selfishness. Yours could be the next.

    Christian marriages fail too, and at the same rate as non-Christian ones. But the reason is that we simply refuse to follow the manual. In Christian marriages we are supposed to give 100%. Just about now I can hear some say, “Of course, I give 100%, he gives 100%. I am game for that.”

    But you are missing the point. In Christian marriages your are supposed to give 100% regardless of what percentage the other person gives. I know, it is a recipe for abuse. You say, “That’s insane!” And you would be right. You protest, “No one can possibly do that!” And you would be right.

    Only the supernatural enabling of God in your life can allow you to give 100% even when the other person is not. It is a mystery of godliness. I am not saying it is easy, but easy street is usually a dead-end street. Don’t allow yourself to go there. Like Paul said to the Philippians, Don’t do anything for selfish purposes but with humility think of others as better than yourselves. Instead of each person watching out for their own good, watch out for what is better for others.” If everybody would live by this principle, we would drive the marriage counselors out of business.

    In the vast majority of cases you will find that your actions contrary to nature will rub the right way on the other person. Soon you will be lying next to a “one hundred percenter” as well. And 50/50 will be a thing of the past.

    Ivanildo C. Trindade

    • Jan 3:11 am on April 19, 2012 Permalink | Reply

      My husband rocks bscauee he has given his all to be obedient to God Especially in our marriage and in reaching out to widows and orphans. We are very pro-life and he has wanted to take in children who were at risk (either through potential abortion or other risks). We have three natural children and so far we have adopted 5 at risk children and he has done a wonderful job of turning his normal retirement age into a time of still working (as we need the money) and caring for these children. There are still 3 of our children home and they have special needs. My hubby is great!

      • ivanildotrindade 10:36 pm on April 30, 2012 Permalink | Reply

        thanks 4 commenting, jane. sorry it took me a while to publish your comment; somehow it ended up in the spam folder. so glad 2 hear about you and your husband’s direct involvement with at-risk children. u might want to check out the work we are doing: http://www.grow-worldwide.com. blessings!

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